Another Disclosure: This will be a long post of nothing but venting. If you need something to cheer you up, don't read this post!
Have you ever had one of those Sundays that you were just sure you child or children were out to get you? I have. Often. I know the following story in no way applies to ONLY me, so I ask for your sympathy as I vent.
Today started off normally. My boys protesting, "No church!" or "I don't wanna wear a tie!" all morning long. I got them dressed and turned on a movie so I could get ready. I step into my room to get dressed where I find Blake naked. Again. I dress him, again.
Once I'm ready I have to push Colin out of the door where he walks as slowly as humanly possible to the car. Before we enter the church building, I turn the car off and have my weekly talk with them about their expected behavior during sacrament. We find a spot to sit, then Blake immediately starts to DEMAND a snack (I normally don't let him have it until after the sacrament has been passed).
Everything just went downhill from there. There was fighting, crying, head-butting (Colin accidentally did that one-but it made my eyes water and head spin! That kid has a noggin!), you name it-it happened. Both of them started crying quite loudly while I was taking the bread, I grabbed each one by an arm and marched them out to the foyer where they had to sit separately. Not a peep was uttered for the first five minutes. I think they could sense my anger.
Another mom came out to check on me and see if I needed help. I thanked her and told her I'd be fine. Then it happened. I cried. I felt so silly not being able to handle my own two children! I'm the adult here! So why were they in control? (I have a friend out there who often shares her stories of embarrassment when her little angel cries during sacrament. I tell her that no one notices, and they probably don't. But today-EVERYONE heard my kids!)
After sacrament, I had many comments from many different people. I'm pretty sure I cried each time someone brought it up. A few people offered to help me every Sunday, others said things like, "It looks like you're having quite a day!" or "Are your boys behaving yet?". My pride just took over. I was greatful and appreciative of the offered help, but ashamed at the same time.
Then the Bishop invited us over for dinner. I would really love to go. They are a great family that I would enjoy getting to know better. But I doubt Ron will be home from work by dinner, and I doubt my children will behave. Dinner is a tough time for us. Colin rarely eats at other peoples' homes which can be embarrassing and frustrating.
The hardest realization is that my kids are going to do this if I'm alone in church or not! It doesn't make things very much easier even if Ron could come to church every Sunday. I'm going to have to think of something that will help them behave better during sacrament mettings. Colin is tricky to discipline. He doesn't always understand cause and effect. But at this point I'm willing to try anything. If anyone has something that has worked for them, PLEASE let me know. I'm open to any and all suggestions.
I know this will all pass eventually. But I'd also like to be able to enjoy Sundays for now. Looking forward to church would be a blessing.
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4 comments:
Well I'm no help...I might as well copy and paste your post to my blog. In fact I'm going to come back and see the advice that people leave so that I can use it for myself! Today we had Stake Conference and we lasted halfway through the opening prayer...thank goodness I have Clint to help! So although I have no advice for you...you do have my sympathy! I can't imagine doing sacrament by myself. I probably would have given up before leaving the house! You're a strong Mama and I think you do a GREAT job with your boys! loves.
Oh Karissa, my dear...I don't think anyone will have any good advice as we are all in the same boat. I have yanked Jack, and Halle actually, out of sacrament meeting with anger on several occasions. I also have cried, many a time. Going by yourself DOES make it worse, but you're right, they'd mis-behave even with two parents there. That's what kids do. So although you may look a few rows ahead and think there's a perfect family that has it all figured out, we all have our weeks that are worse than others...but I wouldn't say any are peachy. Nonetheless, I still look forward to going to church each week and always have a positive outlook that "things are gonna be great today!" By the way, I'm impressed your boys were quiet when you took them out. Good for you! Jack usually sasses, we lash out in anger, and then we've lost the spirit anyway...any advice for me?
I'm pretty sure that I am the friend you refer too whose child's tantrum throwing embarrasses me to no end. So, I don't think I have much advice to help. Just be grateful that your children's screams don't break the scales. I feel your pain Krees and I know people mean well when they ask if you need help, but it only makes you feel worse and less in control. But like Mary, I think you are an amazing Mom and I'm so impressed with how much you do with your boys by yourself. Those kids are lucky to have you! :-)
Oh, one thing, when I'm to the point that I'm pleading and crying in prayer that I really need my kids to be good in church today...that usually works. Lots of quiet books/activities are a help too.
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